There’s a certain type of menu that makes everyone say “ooooh” — and then quietly loses you money.
It’s the kind of menu that gets shared on Instagram stories and makes food bloggers swoon. It’s got truffle dust, sriracha foam, and probably something torched at the table.
But when it hits the real kitchen?
It chokes your line.
It murders your margins.
And your staff hate it before service even starts.
Let’s talk about why sexy menus don’t always sell — and how to fix them.
The Problem With Pretty Menus
Sexy menus are designed for attention. And that’s fine — you need to stand out. But too often they’re:
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Overcomplicated
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Impossible to scale
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Wildly inconsistent
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Costly to prep, plate, and waste
It’s like trying to run a marathon in high heels. Looks great. Doesn’t work.
And here’s the kicker: most customers don’t care about your signature yuzu-gel micro-herb aioli drizzle swirl. They want food that’s hot, tasty, quick, and not £19.95 for three mouthfuls.
What Fails on a Sexy Menu?
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Too many components
If one dish has 9 elements and 3 of them are temp-sensitive? You’ve already lost. -
Inconsistent execution
What looks amazing at 11am prep doesn’t always plate well at 8:30pm Friday service. -
Ingredient sprawl
Unique ingredients across every dish sound cool — until your waste bill hits and your delivery guy quits. -
No margin strategy
Just because it looks like a £15 dish doesn’t mean you’re making a profit. Especially when it takes 14 steps to serve.
What Actually Works?
Sexy food can sell — but only if it’s smart underneath.
Here’s what winning menus do:
They’re Built to Crave
Flavour first. Give people hits of umami, texture, spice, and satisfaction. No one posts a picture of something they didn’t finish.
They’re Costed to Perform
Know your numbers. Ingredient cost, prep time, plate time, wastage, and perceived value. If it’s not profitable, it’s just decoration.
They’re Scalable
You can prep it. You can train it. You can run it on a Tuesday and a Saturday without ruining the kitchen rhythm.
They Tell a Story
But not a novella. A good menu has voice, focus, and intent. Not every item needs a TED Talk behind it — just a reason to be there.
Real-World Fix: The Burger Example
A delivery brand I worked with had a “signature burger” with:
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A pretzel bun
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Triple-stacked patties
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Buttermilk onion rings
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Pickled fennel
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Smoked aioli
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Black garlic miso mayo
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And truffle dusted lettuce (yes, really)
Looked amazing.
Cost more to make than they were charging.
Fell apart on delivery.
Wasted £1.20 in garnishes every time someone didn’t like fennel.
We rebuilt it. Fewer elements. Stronger flavours. Better packaging. Same visual punch.
Result? Double the orders and profit per dish up 30%.
Final Word
A sexy menu gets you clicks.
A smart menu gets you customers — and keeps your kitchen breathing.
You can have both.
But you’ve got to build it properly. That’s what I do.
Need Help?
If your menu is all vibes and no volume, drop me a message. I’ll help you rebuild it without losing the flavour, style, or soul
